Women In Leadership - Episode 73

Podcast Transcription

Melina: Hey, if you guys are hearing the music we're kicking off [SP] here.

Adrian: Yeah.

Melina: Are you hearing it?

Adrian: Mm-hmm.

Melina: It's good for dancing. You can dance.

Melina: Welcome to "Flippin’ Off" a purpose driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference.

Melina: Hey, it's over?

Adrian: Yeah.

Melina: All right. Hey everybody. I don't have any headphones on so I can't hear what's going on. No it's fine, I don't need to now. I just couldn't hear the intro music. So welcome to the "Flippin’ Off Podcast." Melina Boswell here, cofounder of New Wealth Advisors Club and today, I don't even know how this is gonna go because we're already giddy and laughing and I have six girls plus me, so we have seven of us ladies in the house.

Woman: Yes.

Woman: Ooh.

Melina: And Sito.

Melina: Sito is recording us. So I'd like everybody to... So let me just introduce each one of you. So in the house over to my left over here, we have Ms. Sandy…

Sandy: Hello.

Melina: All right. Hey, everybody. And we have Adriane Bradley.

Adriane: Hey.

Melina: All right. And we have Becky Cardenas.

Becky: Hello.

Melina: And Kevinsito.

Kevin: Yup, over here.

Melina: Tina Salazar.

Tina: Hello.

Melina: And Ms. Tamara Paige.

Tamara: Hi.

Melina: And Monica Varios.

Monica: What's up everybody.

Melina: All right. So for some of you, this is your first time. So actually, the only ones who've never done a podcast yet is Tamara and Sandy. So I got to do one with Adriane which was really, really cool and then I got to also do one with Tina and Becky and their husbands which was really fun. And then Monica got the opportunity to do one with Dave before he passed which was, you know, if you've never heard that podcast you should listen to it because it's really great. And there's a back story to that podcast which was Dave was like , "You know, I think you can just do Monica. Like, I know it but I don't know it that well. And so I think you guys have a great rapport and you guys have a great relationship and, you know, I know her, you know, not as deeply as you do." And I was like, "Oh okay," and then the whole podcast is Dave and Monica. I feel like I was definitely the guest and Dave and Monica just got to have a conversation. And so you never know, as we were talking today what is the topic, what is the intention of the Ladies on NWAC coming together and having a conversation at the table? And so I said, "Well what's the point we want to get across or why are we here?" And Monica said...what did you say Monica? Tell everybody what you said?

Monica: I said women in leadership.

Melina: Mm-hmm, because there's not enough of us is there?

Together: No there isn't.

Melina: Yeah. So it's true. There is not enough ladies in leadership. It's really funny. When you come to the RPP, one of the things we do is we kind of lay out the tiers of leadership if you will and with, you know, me and then senior investors and then, you know, the coaches and then the accountability partners. And when you see everybody up there, there is one like glaring problem, like a glaring hole and it is ladies. There is a glaring hole and a miss of ladies inside leadership. And you know, I'm used to it, I'm always the only girl. So I don't know. I had boys. And my husband was very much a man's man, you know, and so my boys are very much men's men. So I guess it's... I don't know if that... I've always been a tomboy. I was just remembering watching my granddaughter not wanting to... She's just now starting to want to wear dresses and I was laughing because I said, I can remember being like right around four years old and my mom putting me in a dress. And I would walk outside in it and truly by the time I got to the end of the driveway I would just take off the dress. Like I didn't care. I was…is blocking... I was like, "I need to go play baseball and I can't in this dress. These frills are making me nuts." And so I was like probably four, you know, I didn't care. Why can't I just wear underwear? I don't know.

So I guess there is a bit of, Dave used to say that I'm pretty dude-ish". What do you think he meant by that when he would say I'm dude-ish, what do you think?

Woman: I think a lot of it has to do with courage. I think women lack a lot of courage. They like to just be safe and men are always feeling like they have to have it because they have to be the provider.

Melina: Ooh that's deep and so true, so completely true. Yeah, because there's nothing... Yeah, that's exactly what it is. It's...gosh isn't that sad? It’s strength.

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: Is strength different than courage you think?

Together: Yes.

Woman: I think it has a lot to do with how you were raised as well, you know, raised by an independent mother or somebody that had to do it on their own. You grew up feeling and having to...and you know, it could be on the other end as well you know where you're like I don't want that in my life, you know?

Melina: Right.

Woman: But at the end of the day I know me and my sister were two different worlds. You know, she kinda needed somebody to step up and take care of her but she was more bullish but I grew up, like your story resonates with me so well because I feel that, you know, I grew up a tomboy. And then people these days they'd be like what? You don't look like...and I'm like I loved...

Melina: Absolutely.

Woman: ...being, like, I had more guy friends and, you know, that was just my world. It's not that I chose that for myself. I just loved what it meant and what they did and, you know, I wasn't...

Melina: It didn't mean anything to you.

Woman: It didn't mean anything at that moment.

Melina: Yeah, it was just where you fit.

Woman: It was just what I fit.

Woman: Climbing trees with them and doing all that kind of stuff. Yeah, mowing the lawns.

Woman: You know, I was not afraid to get like a bruise or a scar or a bloody. You know, I just wanna just be an inventor, I don't know. So I didn't understand that. Now, I look back, now as I got older I wanted to kinda like okay maybe dressing up would be cute.

Melina: Right.

Woman: You know, maybe baseball perhaps and… practice and, you know, a name on it. And then like…maybe that's not really cute…you know, and then you start getting into a different world but it's where I came from. It was more, you know, just what would be so called guy, like, you know?

Melina: Right, yeah. So that's interesting. I'd like to hear from everybody else. So Becky, were you, you know, a tomboy or were you a girly girl?

Becky: Big time tomboy, really.

Melina: This is so interesting.

Becky: Nothing but sports.

Melina: Really, and you have two boys?

Becky: Yup.

Melina: Okay. And what about you Adriane?

Adriane: I was a tomboy too, yeah.

Melina: Interesting.

Adriane: Sports, mowing lawns, climbing trees, riding on your bike as fast as you could down on the street on the seat and then let go, doing all that kind of stuff, yeah.

Woman: Yeah…

Melina: It's so funny, Trinity, you know, my granddaughter. I know I keep on talking about her but too bad. My podcast. I'm just kidding. But she just learned how to ride a bike at the beach last weekend and so it was like, you know, dark and she like didn't wanna come in because she wanted to keep on riding and the next morning it's like 6:30 in the morning and she's like anybody who have like even their eyes opened. And she's, "Like let's go outside so I can ride my bike." And so Kendra went out with her and Trinity didn't wanna rush, she didn't wanna brush her hair, she wanted to do nothing. But she put her Barbies in her basket and they're hanging out. She's riding down the street and her hair is like all...crazy.

Adrian: Beautiful.

Melina: And she got to learn how to ride the bike, you know that feeling. You know, if I can remember when you get it you're like "Oh my gosh, this the best thing ever." So, anyway. She's a tomboy I guess. So how about you Sandy?

Sandy: Pick a guess.

Melina: I don't know. It's a question. It's such a good question.

Woman: Girly girl.

Sandy: What do you think?

Melina: No. I don't think you're a girly girl.

Sandy: No?

Melina: No.

Sandy: Yeah.

Melina: Really?

Sandy: Yeah. You know, my mom has these pictures of me with trying out different outfits and posing. And so always I think as I got older I started becoming more adventurous.

Melina: Okay. Maybe that's... Okay.

Sandy: And yeah.

Melina: Interesting.

Sandy: But yeah, definitely I'm not a girly girl.

Melina: Because I know you as a hiker, I know you, you know.

Sandy: Yeah, but that's not until just recently.

Melina: I see, interesting. Okay, all right. That's interesting.

Woman: So you're a tomboy who's coming out now.

Sandy: Yeah, exactly.

Woman: Exactly.

Sandy: I think I have a good balance, you know.

Melina: I think we all do clearly because we're all awesome and beautiful and so, you know, but yeah.

Woman: And there's a reason why we all click.

Melina: Click, for sure. Isn't that the truth? And what about you Monica?

Monica: Oh come on…

Melina: I'm not a girly girl.

Monica: Okay, you would just look at me and just, you know, that's a no brainer.

Melina: I didn't wanna skip you.

Tamara: No, I was not a girly girl. Yeah, I loved riding my bike. I spent most of my time on the soccer field.

Melina: I didn't know that about you.

Tamara: That was my comfort zone, and I think that was kinda like after high school is like that's where I got lost and really realized that I was just an average person because I no longer had that.

Melina: Wow. All right. You just keep on bringing it back…round. All right. What about you Tina? We just heard Tamara's, how about you?

Tina: Yeah. I'm not really a girly girl at all.

Melina: Really.

Tina: Which is crazy because I'm the oldest of five sisters and all five of us are really not girly girls. But my daughter total opposite than me. Dresses, you know, in the dressing room. She has to spin to see what dress she…which one clicked the most so she was like, you know. But she's changing now. I notice how she's in junior high, she won't wear dresses as much now. But I'll be like, "Oh my god what do I do with this little girl?"

Melina: Really? That's so funny. It's interesting.

Tina: Or like night and day was like crazy. I didn't know what to do with her at the beginning.

Melina: That has to be the weirdest thing, you know, if you have a girl who's a girly girl, right, or very different. What about your daughter?

Adrian: Oh my gosh, she still to this day if her eyelash falls she cries. And I could never relate with her when she was growing up because it was like, you know what... I used to say to her man up. Yeah, she's just... yeah.

Melina: So that's an interesting thing in that most of us are...and it's funny Sandy. I think from you... I think that there is a certain...if we were to identify that characteristic, you know, we're calling it tomboy because we're like oh we were tomboys but I mean ultimately, you know, we're not tomboys. We're just girls who maybe happened to play sports, you know. That's all it really was and we just...maybe we were a little more independent thinkers and maybe independent feelers do you think. And maybe there is some kind of courage that's innately in us that would cause us to do things like, you know, climb trees and ride backs, taking our hands off and doing things that maybe...maybe that is something that's innately in us. And do you think that that leads to leadership?

Adrian: Yeah, it can be.

Tina: Yeah, because it's like take a chance, you know.

Adrian: Risk, taking risk.

Melina: Yeah, so I mean I feel like you're like, "Oh well I didn't really hike until..." but see that takes courage. I think it goes back to what Monica said which is it does take courage.

Adrian: Yeah. But I think also growing up because I was a girl, all right, I am a girl, my mom was like...my mom would always be like, "Don't get hurt, don't..." you know just protect me. So I think that's the...

Melina: Yeah, it's because you're the oldest, you know, and the oldest is always the throwaway kid, you know that, right?

Tina: Oh yeah. We…

Adrian: I disagree with that.

Tina: I think the youngest, right.

Adrian: I think the middle.

Melina: All right.

Tina: Well, I didn't have a middle. I had, you know, I was the youngest. So I was like...

Melina: The youngest are the best.

Tina: The first ones you're like so protective over and then the youngest ones you're like, "Oh I've done this before."

Melina: Yeah.

Woman: They're fine.

Melina: They're totally fine, no one's gonna die.

Woman: I would always come home with, you know, sores on my legs and everything. I never broke anything and my parents would get so mad, why can't you just be like a girl? Why can't you, you know, I mean be like a girl, you know? It's like stop...because I always had...but my parents didn't buy Band-Aids. I was okay with that. It's like, run through the park and get glass in your feet, I was okay with that, you know? They were like they couldn't understand why would you hurt yourself? I didn't do it on purpose but it was fun what you were doing.

Tina: …girls and I was happy when I had my boys because I was like, you know what...

Adrian: Me too.

Tina: ...I didn't really know what boys entailed. You know, I knew that I was like okay, as long as he's like me I'm good, you know. And so at the end of the day it was like I just don't wanna comb no hair. But my son when he was, you know, his hair got long I had to comb that and I was like, "Hey let me..." but that...

Melina: Some boys need more primping than others, you know.

Tina: But I love the fact that, you know, like I feel like I can relate more to... Now if I had a girl it'd be different. Not that I'm looking for any kids or anything like that but at the end of the day...

Melina: You know it's interesting that I do think that there's a lot of truth in that. I feel like if I had trinity if she was my daughter, it would have been probably not great. It would be really, really tough because she's a tough girl and she's really smart and she's, you know, has the strong spirit. And so Kendra, God bless her, doesn't really know what to do with her because it's not how Kendra is at all.

Tina: She needs you.

Melina: She does, and so I'm thankful. You know, everything works out for an exact reason and so I do find myself thinking, "I couldn't be who I am for Trinity right now if, you know, I was in my 20s raising her as my daughter. There's no possible way I would be able to pour [SP] into her the way that I'm able to now." But let me ask you guys this question. I was thinking about this. Why do you think... Do you believe that we have a lack of ladies in leadership because women are afraid? Is it because of our line of business, right? In other words is it because we're real estate investors or is it just women in leadership in general? Like what do you think that is? Do you think it's a combination or what do you think? Go ahead. Yeah, speak.

Tina: I think it's a very male dominated field and it's very competitive and I think men work best in that competitiveness and women are different, you know. At least for me, you know, I'm not that competitive with others. I'm more competitive with myself and personal growth and developing that. So that I can be good in any area not just investing.

Melina: Yeah. Totally, it's very well said. I think that is exactly right. What about you Monica, what are your thoughts?

Monica: I think it's just very hard to be the first woman to break in. And then it's how many seats are at the table.

Melina: Seven.

Monica: So you can be the only woman with all those men for quite a long time. And you're gonna have to suck it up and fit in because a lot of women don't have enough courage to deal with that day in and day out. And then if you leave, a lot of times when we see that, okay there's one spot open.

Melina: Interesting and such...

Monica: Instead of all of them rising up and say let's just join her and let's just dominate it, we don't do that.

Christian: Hi, this is Christian Rios. As many of you know, I have been a member of New Wealth Advisors Club for over 7 years and got started when I was 17 years old with absolutely no real estate experience. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from being in industry is the need for authentic relationships. If you're looking for an actual team locally in Southern California with all the resources needed to close deals, register for one of our free workshops by visiting www.joinnwac.com. Thanks for listening to the "Flippin’ Off Podcast".

Melina: Why do you think that is? Why do you think we don't do that in general?

Monica: I guess it's just too hard.

Melina: Yeah. And maybe other women don't want their...maybe the other, the one woman at the table is insecure and feels like, "No I can't have any other women," right? "Join me." Because for whatever reason, because of their own insecurities, you know. I'll tell you that when Dave passed, you know, Dave and I ran the club together, we were cofounders. I still call myself cofounder, right? And so...which is an interesting thing, isn't it? And I think it was David who had said, "You know, you don't need to always say you're the cofounder. You can always say you're the founder." And I'm like yeah. So Dave and I had a very specific and unique relationship in that like we both agreed what each other's role was. And like nobody knows that, you know, I taught Dave how to be a CEO. Like if I'm being honest, that's the truth.

Woman: You could see that.

Melina: Well, you could because you're a woman but, you know. The truth is, most and so when he passed it was really interesting for me to watch my leadership team and how they related to me, you know. And so much of that I think and, you know, they've probably never heard me say this. So they're gonna hear it for the first time if they ever listen to the podcast. But, you know, I had a couple of them immediately feel like they needed to come in and rescue me when Dave died. And then you know, one of them was like...just looked to me for leadership like, "Okay so what are we doing next?" You know, and then another one was more like I'll come alongside you, you know. And so it's been a very interesting...and let me be honest and I'm just gonna keep it really, real, not politically correct but accurate. So eat that. And that is that, it has a lot to do with their cultures, how they were raised. So it kinda goes back to what you were saying Tamara, you know, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's a perfectly fine thing to say which is why I'm gonna say it. I say it's not politically correct but it's the truth and I think the truth is totally fine. But it is okay, you know, and men having different cultures coming from a different background, a different culture and not knowing anything different, right? So you guys know what...you know exactly what I'm saying, don't you? And I can probably ask you who I'm talking about and you probably know, right? Am I right?

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: Because you know my leadership team and you know who they are and you know how they behaved. And so, you know, there's a part of me that was like, "Yeah thank you for rescuing me" in complete transparency. That's the truth. The other part of me was like, "Actually you need me to rescue you so I don't know what you think you're doing here." You know that's...

Woman: Yes…

Melina: You know? And then the other part of me was like no really I'm gonna have to do this on my own. So for me, this last year has been a whole lot of getting stable, myself. And like who am I first of all as a woman and secondly as a CEO and now I'm a widow? So that brings a whole new dynamic to me in leadership and trying to identify that has been...and thankfully, I have a leadership team of men that I do know actually love me. And so we've been figuring it out together as we go but the truth is I know that women in leadership is so vital and powerful and important and needed. And so I am so excited to have you guys sitting here at this table and I'm just gonna pose this question to you. What is one thing that you believe women bring to a leadership team that men do not because we are different? Again, maybe not politically correct but accurate and I personally believe we should embrace our differences. We are not less than, right? We are equal to but we are different. We are not the same. We are very different, and so men bring something different to leadership than women do. But if you were to...could you identify one thing that you think women bring to leadership that is different than men do?

Woman: More compassion I think but...

Melina: Compassion.

Woman: I think it really differs with the person actually, you know.

Melina: Really?

Woman: I do. I believe that women do bring something different but I believe each woman can bring something different because not everybody has the same intent for you, you know. And so as long as the person's intent is pure, whatever they bring is amazing, you know. But there's just... I think that just needs to be understood.

Melina: What do you think Monica?

Monica: You know, I think it's patience. If everyone's journey is different but I know for women if you really get to that leadership role, you had some patience to get there because it doesn't come overnight.

Melina: No, no.

Monica: And definitely a whole lot of grit. So that is really different whereas I think sometimes you know as men they get handed certain things because people trust them more. And so with us we have like, it's proving yourself over and over and over again. And so yeah, [inaudible 00:22:21]

Melina: Patience. That's a great way to look at it and certainly get... I agree with that. And obviously, we're not male bashing here at all.

Together: No.

Melina: You know, it's not that. It's just like being honest. Speaking truth.

Monica: Yeah. It's not bashing. All we're trying to do is continue to empower women.

Melina: Yes.

Woman: Because you know what's funny, I'm trying to remember now that we're sitting here who said it to me but after Dave passed... Who was it? I forget. Well, they said they're gonna try to take over and leave Melina behind. I said no they're not and I name the ones that will come...like you said. And over time noticed exactly what I said is gonna happen. The Frank, the Oscar, the Tim. They're not gonna let anybody misuse you but they're not trying to take over you. They're letting you do what you do best and then they're coming alongside of you.

Melina: They really are.

Woman: And that's where you can see true friendship step up because at the end of the day that's where, like I said, I've in my life been looking for like somebody that doesn't try to take over. I don't need you to try to step in and take over. I need you to just, you know, hold me when stuff gets bad or stuff gets rough.

Melina: Sure.

Woman: You know what I'm saying? And pull me through and then I'll take you through with me. You know what I'm saying? Let's do this together.

Woman: Like I said earlier, those are associates that try to do what you don't want.

Melina: Yeah.

Melina: What do you think?

Woman: I think emotions. I think women bring that, or at least for me that's what I usually tend to connect with the people, you know, emotions and just being very aware of my emotions and be able to connect with others that way. I don't think a lot of men like to show their emotions.

Melina: Right. And they've been trained early on not to.

Woman: Yeah. And for me that's a strength that I have. You know, I'd usually get very emotional and I'd start crying whatever and as I got older I started to understand that's one of my strengths, you know. And growing up, I feel like that was seen as weakness and it wasn't until I started to hone that and really take charge of that and be like, "No that's not a weakness, you know. I don't care if you see me crying. I don't care what you're thinking of. This is me showing emotions and showing that I do care."

Melina: Yeah, and you feel deeply.

Woman: Right.

Woman: Being real.

Melina: Being real, transparent.

Woman: …earlier, you know.

Melina: Yeah. Because we are taught too, right? If we show that kind of emotion we are weak and we're babies, right?

Woman: And it's funny because my mom, you know, for her like she doesn't cry in front of me. I think it's been maybe two or three times that I've seen her cry.

Melina: Wow.

Woman: And growing up...

Woman: Your mom is old school.

Woman: Yeah, she's old school but she's still very sensitive in her own way. But to grow up and then for me to be like this huge crybaby, you know, it was hard because...it was just hard.

Woman: It was hard for her.

Woman: Yeah, it was just hard because, you know, they see it as a weakness.

Melina: She probably didn't know what to do with you.

Woman: She probably didn't know either.

Melina: "What's wrong with this girl? She keeps on crying all the time."

Woman: Yeah, even just in school when they would tell me like my grades or, you know, do those like parent teacher conferences. And it wasn't anything negative or anything. I would just start crying from nowhere and I didn't understand it either and it wasn't until, you know, getting older and just being able to express it and, you know, just really explain what I was feeling...

Melina: Yeah, and being okay with it.

Woman: Being okay with it and just being honest with that.

Melina: Mm-hmm, that's great. What about you Becky, what do you think?

Becky: I mean, my first thought was patience also.

Melina: Really? Interesting.

Becky: Yeah.

Melina: Okay. And women in business, can be definitely more patient for sure. I think women are, you know, I mean, I do believe that that's true. I think that's really insightful actually, you know, because like if you think about it being patient helps you to stay in and to stay in the process...

Woman: Definitely.

Melina: ...women are more, not all women. You know, I'm speaking in general but I think in general we are much more tied to the process versus the outcome. And men are made and created to conquer, right? To protect, to take care of their families. That's really, that is their job. And so we live in a world now where that doesn't go away. That's still how they were created. It doesn't go away but we live in a world now where there is a role for women and men both in leadership. And truly, I think it's always been there because if you think about it, when you run a family, you know, it takes two, right? Two very different personalities that are needed. You know, the idea is usually you have one that is more justice and one that is more mercy and then in between you find the perfect balance, you know. So Tina, what do you think?

Tina: Yeah, I agree with everybody on the patience and, you know, the emotions. And sometimes women just bring like to see the bigger picture sometimes. You know, like sometimes they're just, they don't know how to get there but sometimes, you know, you just kinda have the guide at the same time, you know. And it's like, "Okay I'm gonna do this, you know, a year from now." But you know, sometimes say, "Okay but this is going on, this is going on." Sometimes it's gonna take a little longer, you know? For me and [inaudible 00:28:05] he's just like, "Okay I'm there." And I'm like, okay but we have this, this, this." And you know I'm like, "We'll get there," you know, like...

Melina: Interesting. That's really...how about that? That's insightful as well. So here's my next question then and I'm just thinking of them obviously as we go. I guess I'd like to hear from each one of you what is one thing that you would like to, if you can think of something that you would like to share with the club, what's one thing? Like if you were, let's just say that I'm giving you a blank sheet of paper and a pen and let's just say a blank checkbook. Okay? Not blank, you know, a blank check and you can write the check for whatever you want. And you could do something for the club and it's something that you would give to the club. So you have all the resources that you want. If you could just write a check and have something done, what would it be? It's such a crazy question, right?

Woman: See, I think for me you're kinda throwing me off with the whole check thing because if...and I think this is different between men and women. When I think about what I could give it automatically goes to sharing and it's like sharing my journey. And that wouldn't cost you anything. I'd literally just have to get up and share that. And it's interesting because this last kinda like year that's what I've been doing more and at the same time I feel like I have been elevating people more and empowering them more. So it's not about money.

Melina: And do you [inaudible 00:29:42]?

Woman: Yes, I do.

Melina: You do?

Woman: Yes.

Melina: Does it feel like that's what you should be doing?

Woman: Yes.

Melina: Is that right? Okay.

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: All right.

Woman: I mean, I'm obviously...

Woman: Well Imma step in and say Imma take the check.

Melina: Go ahead [crosstalk 00:30:01]

Woman: Because I actually would like to, you know, make sure that the...I would write it to make sure that the club could be around for a long time. That actually is important to me. You know, something that has put me in a position in my life to not only, you know, grow but realize certain things that we were talking about this earlier, you know, of course off air. But that I don't think if I would have gotten like a deal or whatever already that I would still be here. And I know, you know, that sometimes I don't see. I definitely don't see my path and what it's meant for me. But I know that my heart is in the right place and I know that I wanna be around people that fulfill me in ways that I've never felt before. So I would like to make sure that whatever I can do would be able to give back to just this environment. And you know, make sure that this club is always good that we can always be around each other that...because that's important to me.

Melina: I so get that. I so appreciate that, and you don't have to use the check but I really...that's like an amazing...it's such a beautiful thing. What about you Tina?

Tina: Don't give up. You know like my [inaudible 00:31:32] years' journey hasn't been easy. I just realized in December we're gonna be here for five years.

Melina: Wow, that's so awesome.

Tina: You know, and it hasn't been easy but the thing is don't give up. Like my [inaudible 00:31:43], our parenting, our marriage, our relationship has grown so much mainly this last like year and a half, you know, but don't give up, you know, because there's no way coming in almost five years ago that I would even think we would be in the place we are now. You know like, just hearing like my aunt calling me and my mom, you know, we could see you and [inaudible 00:32:06] are like in a whole different place right now.

Melina: Really.

Tina: You know my mom always thought...well my mom's met you so she knows. I know it's the part of the club, you know, and just seeing. And my kids as well because we were talking about...my youngest son Andrew he's all, "It's gonna be five years mom," and I was all like, "Oh yeah." He's all like, "You guys are different." He's all like, "In a good way." And then you know just little things that we've changed since when we first came into the club to now, you know? And being part of the serving team and surrounding yourself like that's a big difference too surrounding yourself with people that, you know, help you grow as well. So don't give up.

Melina: [inaudible 00:32:52] Thank you for sharing that.

Woman: That's funny because we had the same conversation about our kids.

Melina: You did?

Woman: And they say the same exact thing just...

Melina: To you and Eric.

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: That you're...

Woman: I mean, just we're different with each other since being in the club.

Melina: In a better way?

Woman: Oh yeah. I mean, our youngest has gone through some difficult times but, you know, he had to go through some therapy and the first thing they do is bring up, "Well how are your parents?" And from that he's always said, "I have the best parents. They treat each other well, they treat us well." I mean, that broke my heart because, you know, he was struggling but he still, he never had a negative thing to say about us.

Melina: That's wonderful.

Woman: Yeah. It's the same thing like you're my parents. You're just different now than you were two years ago, I mean, a year ago. So it's like to me I don't know, the club has done so much for us but for me especially in the last year I don't know what could ever give back.

Melina: That's awesome, thank you. How about you Ms. Adriane?

Adriane: I took off of what both Tamara and... I just forgot her name.

Melina: Tina?

Adriane: I know. I just went blank.

Melina: You could just call her Jone. [SP]

Adriane: Well, I just went blank, I'm sorry. I know your name. What Tina said but I think the one thing I could give to the club is to tell everybody as long as you stay in and if you're struggling, mainly if you're struggling with wanting to be alive, the club will let you see that you're you as a person or worth being here, being alive. The club will give you that. I think that's the...no money can buy that for you. If you just stick in with the club and believe in God, truly believe in God, don't just say you believe in him. But I mean, you can struggle with because, you know, there's a lot of times I didn't like God over these last five years, you know.

Melina: You mean like a real relationship?

Adriane: Yeah. I mean, there's sometimes now still I feel like I have a great relationship with him now, you know. I love him now but some days I don't like him.

Melina: Mm-hmm, totally.

Adriane: But if you just stay in you're gonna love yourself and you're gonna love life.

Melina: Wow. Thank you. Hey.

Woman: Hello.

Melina: Hi. I can't [inaudible 00:35:48] you're crying or not.

Woman: No, I was getting teared up but...

Woman: Me too.

Woman: It's okay. For me would be building honest and true relationships and being yourself, being true to yourself. And as long as you're doing that, you know, that's gonna help build those honest relationships because you're being honest with yourself and people can see that.

Melina: For sure. People know that's the truth. That's the key to success, isn't it?

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: It's truly the key to success is just being honest and being your authentic self, your most best self. Well, I'd like to tell you what I'd like to see. Are you ready? I'm gonna make a challenge to you. Here's my question. I mean, I would like to see each one of you really take ownership of your leadership in the club, not that you haven't. You really have. Why are you looking at me like that?

Woman: I'm looking to see what the challenge is?

Melina: The challenge is for you to get on stage.

Woman: I was about two weeks ago, remember?

Melina: You were. Oh my god, you shut me up which doesn't happen.

Woman: You were taking that pic.

Melina: Yeah. She actually made me quiet which is just weird. Like she left me speechless which generally doesn't happen. I usually have something I have to say.

Woman: [inaudible 00:37:07]

Melina: Yeah, because I fell on the...I almost fell down and I sat instead. So I would really... I'm very grateful for each one of you and I would really like to hear from you and we'll probably...well we will definitely be doing this offline. I'd like to hear what is the one thing...and maybe this is another podcast and this is the question I'd like to ask you. Like what's the one thing that you are the most afraid to do? The one thing that you're the most afraid to do and I'm just gonna leave that as a cliffhanger because we're gonna talk about it. And then we're going to see how we can...what we should do with that. Does that sound like fun?

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: Doesn't that sound like fun?

Woman: I think because we were talking about this earlier that being afraid of it and not really...because we were saying that routine and...because I don't think I'm afraid of certain things. There's some stuff that I don't wanna do. You know, there are some things in myself and does that mean that I'm afraid of it or does it mean that I just don't wanna do it? Like I wanna be...

Melina: You mean comfortable? Being comfortable?

Woman: Yeah, I being comfortable with something and, you know...

Woman: No, I don't think just... Yeah, I don't think.

Woman: Because, I don't wanna be on stage. I don't feel that's my journey, that's my path.

Melina: Then you shouldn't.

Woman: But I don't know if that's me just not feeling comfortable with it or if that's me just, you know...like I don't know which one it is. So it's just...

Melina: Got it. Well, we can explore.

Woman: Yeah, let's...

Melina: We should explore it because for me just so you know it was the one thing I despised. I hated it. I hated every single second of being on stage. Every single time that they would want me to go up there, I just wanted to puke and I would.

Woman: And that did happen to you, like, I remember. [SP]

Melina: Yeah, I did too. So we should talk through that because it's generally, you know, when I tell people, "Oh I get nervous every time I go on stage," nobody ever believes that. They're like, "Stop it." "No, really. I really do."

Woman: [inaudible 00:39:02] it's natural [inaudible 00:39:05]

Melina: It's not. So the one thing and probably that you're the most afraid of is probably the very thing that you need to do to break through something else. It's almost a guarantee. So I'd like to explore that with you guys each of you individually. I know the stage is always one of the things people are afraid of. But I think we should explore that and then see what we can do to work through it. Yeah, is everybody in agreement?

Woman: Yeah.

Melina: It doesn't have to the stage.

Adriane: But I'm not afraid to be on the stage, I just don't wanna be.

Melina: Right. And that's fine, that's very [inaudible 00:39:33]

Adriane: Yeah, and to me that's not being afraid.

Melina: No it's not.

Adriane: That's just like I don't wanna be on the serving team. I'm not afraid to be on the serving team but...

Woman: I'm not trying to [inaudible 00:39:43]

Adriane: ...I'm not gonna be on the serving, because you know to me, if I'm being true to myself, to me I don't wanna serve somebody in that club that I know is not genuine to you. And there's people that I know in the club that are not there for a genuine reason.

Melina: You mean, that they're there just to take and to make money?

Adriane: Yes. And I'm not gonna serve them. And being on the serving team means I would have to serve them and that's not Adriane.

Melina: Okay, I appreciate that. I think I look at it different. I think I look at it as serving you and the bigger purpose because on a serving team you're aware of those people and I'm more like a protector.

Adriane: Sometimes you're not.

Melina: Well, I'm not perfect, yeah? Sure there's something that could fly under my radar but at the end of the day it's like if I can surround her then I can protect her. Does that make sense?

Woman: It makes perfect sense.

Adriane: I think what I said and what you said both make sense.

Melina: You know, you could be our undercover, you know, person. I mean, well not anymore because you're already seeing it, so.

Adriane: Yeah, I know [crosstalk 00:40:44]

Melina: Everybody is gonna go now. Second advice Monica?

Woman: That's right. [crosstalk 00:40:49]

Melina: This is exactly the thing that women can do. Is that exactly what you're talking about right now Monica 100%?

Monica: Mm-hmm.

Melina: And I'm grateful. I actually know that each one of the your protects the integrity of the club in your own very individual ways, I know that you do. And so I'm grateful for that, that's why you're sitting here at this table with me. So yeah, let's explore. I think what we'll do next is next time we come around... Well actually we're gonna start a GroupMe right now. So who's gonna be the owner of it? One of y'all is and we're gonna talk and it's gonna be Ladies of NWAC and we're gonna talk about some challenges with each other. And I would just say this to listeners, stay tuned to see what we're gonna do next. So do you know how we sign out? Do you know what we say when we sign out?

We are the Ladies of NWAC and we are Flippin Off.

I'm Melina Boswell, your host of the "Flippin Off Podcast". I really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we'd love for you to subscribe, give us a five star rating and tell your friends all about us. You can find more episodes of the "Flippin Off Podcast" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher or whatever else you like to listen to awesome podcasts like this. If you like what you've heard, we'd really appreciate it if you'd follow us on Facebook and Instagram and tell us the stories that you'd like to hear. Tim Jackson is our senior producer, Luke Jackson is our editor. Brothers. Josh Mauldin is our producer. Sound design by Frequency Factory. Our executive producer is Mind & Mill. This was all created by Dave Boswell for New Wealth Advisors Club.