True Grit - Episode 59
Melina: Welcome to "Flippin' Off," a purpose-driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference.
Okay, guys. Hey, everybody. Melina Boswell here, co-founder of New Wealth Advisors Club, also known as NWAC. You'll hear me say NWAC. That is why. So today in the studio, I have my usual cohorts. So I have Oscar Solares.
Melina: Frank Luna.
Frank: Hello, everybody.
Melina: My son, David Boswell.
Melina: Christian Rios.
Melina: And Tim Wilkinson.
Melina: And, of course, Mr. Tim Jackson, producer, you know, extraordinaire. And then everybody knows our Spoon. There is Spoon. Say hi, Spoon. You might as well just wave.
Oscar: Pinky Spoon.
Melina: And behind the camera, our very own Mr. Kevin Castillo, also known as CTO and handsome castle, all of the above. So today, we wanted to actually continue a conversation that we started on our last podcast about...actually, what I said was together alone and the idea of the tension between, you know, needing people and not needing people. And I said, you know, the tension between being alone and together.
And, really, I looked back at my notes because my son has been really challenging me to write down things that I think and say. And so when I looked back, what I said to him yesterday was the tension between being dependent and being independent. And how important that understanding that tension, you know, because we were created to be with people. We were not created to be alone.
In fact, I learned, you know, being alone is actually toxic. Do you know it will kill you to be alone? And so kind of goes along with the conversation that Tim was having, which was the idea that you could be in a room full of people and still feel alone. And that's a dangerous place to be. And we realized that that all happens in the mind, obviously, right, because alone with people, those are contradictory terms. So it's obviously an internal mindset that takes place for folks. And, usually, we want to be alone because, well, we don't want to be with people. Because, let's be honest, why do we not want to be with people? Somebody just tell me why. Why don't we want to be with people?
Oscar: Because they get on my nerves. Sometimes, not always.
Melina: Yeah. What else? What else?
Oscar: They ask too many questions.
Melina: Yeah. You know, do you think that it's... Sorry about that. It's not necessarily being with people. Like those are all like kind of surface answers. But the truth is, we don't really want to be with somebody because clearly you could be alone and be with people. So it's not that. There's a deeper level to it, which is actually being with somebody. And I think that it has everything to do with trust, right? "I don't really trust people." That's the truth. So I believe that the reason you're alone in a room full of people is because you don't trust people. That's the truth. And usually it's with good reason.
Melina: Right? Because people suck, right? People end up hurting you. And so then we become what we perceive to be independent. "I'm going to be independent because that way nobody can hurt me." Isn't that really what we're talking about? And so the question is how do you get past that? How do you move past that? So there's really two conversations that we've been contemplating having on this podcast. And I felt deeply that it's time to start talking about what's hot being emotionally, mentally on the interior of our beings with this crazy real estate market, right? Because we do real estate as a vehicle to make money.
And so it's such a strange world that we live in, specifically. I believe everybody lives in the same world that people don't necessarily identify it. It's kind of like you're either in the emotional world or you're in the professional world, but very few people learn how to integrate them honestly together. And I think that the power lies in the integration of doing business. So for us, doing businesses is real estate because that's the thing that we need to do to get us to the goals that we have, the financial goals, right? That's our business.
But how we get there is also just as important, if not more important, in my opinion. I believe that what's happening emotionally, mentally, spiritually are very real things that need to be dealt with. And I don't think that they are separate. I think that we need to continue to learn how to and talk about how do we integrate our business into our actual lives. And so that's really where I wanted to go to our last podcast, when I was talking about, like, what happens to you emotionally when you see the market crashing? What is it that takes place emotionally? Like what's the physical symptoms that you feel?
And we got more into the weeds of the details, which I think is great because it is very, very important. Frank made a great point which was, you know, "I don't like to believe my feelings because they lie to me. So I want to back it up with data." And that is a very wise thing to do. And then he said, he kind of backed into it. And so the reality is, even when you look at all the data, like I can feel some kind of way about the market. I can sense, instinctually, I can sense the grumblings of the change. Then I looked at it and backed it up with data.
Okay, so now we know the market is inevitably going to correct. We don't know when. Obviously, if we knew when we would be billionaires because our crystal ball would be worth, you know, 12 billion, trillion dollars. So we don't have a crystal ball. We have to work within what is. And so it's this idea of how do we stay in? Because I think we came to the conclusion that we need to stay in. No matter what it is that you're doing, you have to stay in.
For us right now, it's real estate. Real estate is our vehicle. It's the financial thing that gets us to where we want to go. But how do we emotionally, mentally stay in? And, you know, we poised this question lots of different ways. We positioned it like what do you do when you get stuck? You know, how do you get out of a rut? Actually, David, I think is the one who said, you know, "I think it's about grit. I think that grit is the thing that we need to really hone in on and identify so that we do stay in in this crazy market." We know like all the stuff that we need to do. We know the things that we need to do, right?
You know, some things never change, right? You buy low, sell high. Basic stuff. But, of course, that changes dramatically where the market is changing because how do you know if you're buying it low? That's where all the uncertainty comes from. So what do we do with that emotionally in order for us to stay in? Because fear, that's like exactly what Frank said, you know. Clearly, the uncertainty evokes fear. And so what do we do? Oscar said, "It's fight or flight." So what do we do? And David said, "I think that you have to like tap into your grit."
So let's talk about that for a minute, right? Because as we were chatting about it before we came on the air, we were saying, "Well, what is grit?" And it was so interesting because everybody had a different understanding or definition of what grit is. So maybe, Tim, you wanna share, or somebody else share like what you shared with me. And I think, Christian, you had the same idea of grit as Tim did. So which one of you wants to...
Tim: Go ahead, Christian.
Melina: All right.
Christian: Well, going back a little bit, like I'll share a story because it came to me. I remember back in the day when the market crashed and I saw... I probably shared this with you guys before, but everyone on here probably hasn't heard it. The market crashed and I saw my parents' house was worth...you know, 600 grand. Overnight, it's worth, you know, like 300 grand. And for me, seeing that as like a kid in high school, I saw what my parents were going through and I added like a lot of weight on my shoulder where I was like, "Man, how can I help them? What can I do to, you know, get educated in this business?"
And I remember one day my mom gave me like 40 bucks to go to the store and buy tortillas. And I still don't understand why she gave me like 40 bucks. Maybe she like was going to give me gas money or something too. But I went to go get the tortillas. And before I left, I like Googled, like how do I make money? Just because I wanted to help out my parents. And one of the books that came out and a lot of people have probably read it is "Rich Dad, Poor Dad."
And I went to Barnes and Nobles right after buying the tortillas. And I got that book and I read it. And that kind of transformed, you know, my life because from that kind of that dark place where the market was like horrible, I wanted to get educated in real estate, in making money. And I think if there's a way to kind of put that into words of kind of what grit is, I think that might kind of go hand-in-hand with it, right? It's like when, you know, you're faced with a challenge and you take action, you do it to, you know, kind of improve circumstances, too. Or you do it even though maybe you don't wanna do it, right?
Melina: That's good. That's really good. And that's deep, actually. That's incredibly deep what you just said because to me, yeah, grit, it is deep-seated. It is something that happens on the interior. It's something that's going on inside of you, inside your heart. You know, I always talk about your heart is really your gut. We think our heart is like the thing that, you know, pumps all the blood through our body, which it is, but, really, your heart of hearts is your gut. Your gut is where everything stays. And so for me, grit comes from the gut. And I know that I know we are not taught how to operate from our gut. We're not.
We're taught to operate cerebrally, right, totally. Like this is the next thing to do. And we're not taught to just operate and definitely not taught to trust our gut or believe that our gut even has any kind of sense-making ability. But I know that it really does. It can also lead you astray. There's no doubt about that. But I do believe that grit comes from deep, deep down which is interesting because Tim had a very different definition of grit, which I think a lot of people do, which is why we really wanted to have this conversation. So, Tim, can you share like what your definition of what grit meant for you?
Tim: Yeah. To me, grit has a very...the word itself for me just makes me feel like whatever I am doing, it has to be hard. Like if I didn't have to have grit, it would be something easy. You know what I mean? Like to me, grit, like, I think, gritting your teeth. I think things like that. Like having grit means white-knuckling it and just going for it, no matter how hard it is. But it has to be hard. And I think this is where I can get stuck sometimes is that because I want to have grit, and if I want to have grit and in order to have grit, whatever I'm doing has to be hard, that kind of gets me stuck in not necessarily doing hard things but making things that I do hard. Does that make sense?
Melina: Yeah, yeah. You're gonna add something, David?
David: Yeah. So it's funny, I don't know why I thought of this. But what just came to me when I think of grit is, you know, you think, as a man, white-knuckling it, you know. It has to be hard. It's such a man perspective to me. And I think that if we're talking about grit, the first thing I think about is I'm a woman giving birth. Like if you've ever seen it happen...it's so weird my voice is kind of shaky because I just thought of this right now.
But if you've ever seen a woman give birth, there's no part of them that wants to be sitting there going through that, you know. It sucks. It sucks so bad. They can't fight. You can't white-knuckle it. You can't be strong to make it easier. They just go through it. Like they just have to go through it. They sit there. They can't even flail around and you can't even...the worst things you could do is grab my fists or, you know, make a fist and squeeze because... But that's it. You hurt the baby if you end up, you know...
So to me, grit is the idea. Like, you know it's gonna be hard. Things are gonna play out the way they're gonna play out. Life is gonna be difficult. But you know you have to go through it. So are you gonna white-knuckle it? Are you gonna fight? Or are you just gonna go through it? And we're talking about aiming. You know, where are you gonna aim? Which direction are you gonna go?
Melina: Well, that's actually the question. Because, what is it? I think that's a brilliant analogy. It's so good. Because, ultimately, what is the woman aiming at? I mean, that's really what it is. You're exactly right. It is just being with it. And, ultimately, the woman knows what is on the other side. And so...
David: There's one goal regardless of...
David: The pain and the struggle. You know, all the chaos.
Oscar: So I think one of the things that you just...what I just got from what you said is that grit doesn't have anything to do...I don't really have anything to do with it.
Melina: Right. It's true.
Oscar: Right? At the end of the day, the baby's coming. She's not in control of that. She just has to go through it. And being willing to go through it is what grit is. Go through it and that's it. Like you're not in control. You're not striving. She's not trying to have a baby. She's having a baby.
David: She doesn't want to, either.
Oscar: Right. That baby is coming whether she wants it or not.
Melina: And let me tell you, I can remember the first time when I was pregnant with you, David, and I was in labor. And I heard all these women screaming and I was like, "Can I change my mind? Like I'd rather not. I'd rather not do this." But there's no choice. Yeah.
David: And that, as a man, you know, going through that next to her, it taught me a lesson too because as a man, all I wanna do is control it. All I wanna do is like just grab the baby and rip it out, whatever. You know what I mean? What has to happen. Give her some drugs. Do something. Whatever it may be, you wanna control the situation. But the truth is, I had to take a step back and let the doctors do what they had to do. Just be there, support her, and go through the processes that's gonna go, which is... That took grit, I think. It really did. It taught me what grit is, at least.
Melina: That's so good. It's such a great analogy. Yeah, because we were talking about the idea of striving, right? And the striving is like what Tim was saying. That's white-knuckling it. That's like working really hard. I think that that was a really good analogy, too, Tim. Gritting of your teeth.
Melina: Right? Then how painful that is and how that's you doing it. And the truth is, grit comes from deep, deep down inside. And that's why it can't be manufactured, right? And you saying, "I want to have grit, so what do I have to do to have grit?" that's where we get stuck because we start trying to do too many things. That's where the striving, that's where the white-knuckling comes in. And I do believe that the word is control.
I really believe that all this comes back to our deep, deep desire to control everything around us, which is like the big joke because we have none. We have zero control, right? We only can control how we respond. And so grit is responding in a way that keeps your eye on the end game.
Frank: Yeah. The truth is, when most people hit rock bottom is when they finally realize they have no control.
Melina: Oh, yeah. Obviously.
Frank: You have no more control at that point.
Melina: Yeah. And that's such an interesting thing because we have this joke around, you know, that I... Anyway, it doesn't matter. About moms, right? And how moms, you know, we can just... Like it's ridiculous what moms can do. I'm not gonna say it but you know. There is this way the women who have given birth, like something happens. And I think that it is a way that women are given grit without even knowing it. So how then, since men, and you guys are obviously all men sitting here, and you don't get the awesome opportunity to give birth, right?
We all know that, you know, population would die if you did, but... Just kidding. But, I mean, so how is it then? How do you develop grit? Like what are the key ingredients? Now we've all agreed, okay, so grit really doesn't have anything to do with the doing. It has to do with the being, right? So how do you create grit? How do you create it inside? Or like what are some of the steps and some of the things that you need to identify in order to create real grit like deep down in your gut?
Christian: Yeah. So disclaimer, I almost fainted when Liam was coming. Yeah. Mad props to the women out there. So there's so many good points, I mean, to that analogy. And I think when we're talking about control, it goes back to what you say, Melina. It's like we have to control what we can control. Like I can control what time I wake up in the morning. I can control how many homeowners I follow up with. I can control that. I can't control if, you know, seller wants to cancel a contract, you know. Things like that, right?
So we have to control what's controllable. And I heard something the other day where when your inner...because our biggest thing is we have to keep focusing or developing our inner self. And when we keep developing our inner self, eventually, the outer world is gonna kind of display our inner self, right? So I think back to even when I started the club, I'm not who I am today. I am who I am because of all the books I've read, because of all the classes I've been to.
And like I was already preparing myself from day one but my outer world didn't look like it does right now. But eventually it will. Like if the market's gonna crash, whatever, it's time to double down on your education, your knowledge, like self-development because it's been proven time after time. Like when the market goes down and recessions happen, depressions happen, that's a time where people can really make it.
Melina: Yeah. That's when real wealth is created actually, right?
David: I think you said for men, like, you know, since we didn't get to experience giving birth, I think it really comes down to a simple decision. You just have to make a decision just like you made a decision, you know, if you're married, you made a decision to get married, then you stay in that marriage. That takes grit. It doesn't just happen. You have to work it out. You might not like it all the time. You know, it's not always gonna work in your favor.
But, you know, you work it out. You make it happen. So it comes down to a decision. And, you know, we can talk about giving birth all the way to your business. It's the same concept. You decide if you're gonna take it on, and if you are, then what's that look like? You know, are you gonna have grit? Are you gonna stay in there? Are you gonna quit when you get frustrated?
Melina: How do you not quit? I think what Christian said is absolutely right. Go ahead, Tim. Were you gonna say something?
Tim: Sure. What David said about like marriage and stuff, I mean, I would agree...
Christian: Hi, this is Christian Rios. As many of you know, I've been a member of New Wealth Advisors Club for over 7 years and got started when I was 17 years old with absolutely no real estate experience. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from being in the industry is the need for authentic relationships. If you're looking for an actual team locally in Southern California, with all the resources needed to close deals, register for one of our free workshops by visiting www.joinnwac.com. Thanks for listening to the "Flippin Off" podcast.
Tim: Sure. What David said about like marriage and stuff, I mean, I would agree that it's about a decision, but I feel like everything now, specifically with what you shared, David, about birth and all that, and I was in the room when my sister had one of my nieces and I almost passed out too, Christian. That's the truth. And I can still feel the nauseousness in my stomach when I just think about her screaming like my sister's, you know...whatever. Anyways, so I think faith...today, in this conversation, grit has an element of faith that has never been there for me.
And at the end of the day, when you mentioned marriage, I will agree that it's not going to happen and we have to have, and I think this is where we sometimes get confused as to striving for something, we have to have somewhere where we're going. That's how we don't stop. We have to have something that we want, that we're moving towards. A happy marriage, let's say. So which means that we can have grit through the challenging times. Otherwise, if we don't have that, the destination, which could be in this world or the next... What's that?
Tim: Vision. If we don't have that, then what am I fighting for? Like why would I go through that? So I think we have to have something that we're going for if we're going to continue to have grit through the process. So a happy marriage, for instance, doing what I'm called to be doing based on the decision I made, you know?
Melina: Right. So I think David said, yeah, it starts with the decision. So you make the decision, "I'm going to stay in. Market is gonna go down, I'm going to stay in. I'm going to get married, I'm going to stay in." So that's the vision. That's the ultimate, right? So then the next question is so...then you get into the, "What do I need to do? Like what are the things that I need to do?" Because, otherwise, you will find yourself if you just make the decision that, "I'm gonna stay in," if you're not careful, you'll start striving and you'll start doing things instead of just aiming, right?
And we were kind of talking about the difference between striving and when there's been so much conversation around just the definition of the word striving. And who was it that looked it up? Who looked up all the synonyms? So what were some of the synonyms of striving?
Oscar: Labor, work, struggle. It was interesting because they divided the synonym into...
Melina: Giving birth. All of that's giving birth.
Oscar: Right. There was all kinds of them and struggle was one of them. And I tend to, until this conversation, really, struggle. That was striving for me. But the one synonym that really spoke to me inside of this conversation was aim. And for me that comes down to who I'm being. I'm still striving for something or I'm still working towards something, but I have faith that it's going to happen. I'm willing to go through the ups and the downs. And I'm not doing it in order to be something. I am who I am and I'm just doing it. I wake up in the morning and why did...like Tim Jackson said this in that conversation, he said you'll ask somebody, "Why do you want that?" "Well, because I woke up today. Like this just what I do. Like I woke up, I'm at ease. I just do this every day."
Melina: As opposed to?
Oscar: As opposed to, "I have to do it because I need that car," or, "I need that..." whatever it is for you. If I really look at it, why do you want that car? It's so that I could prove that I'm enough, right? So, for me, striving and the struggle and grit, before this conversation, grit meant that I was striving for something. And if I really look at it, grit meant working through it and at the end of the day, it was all about me proving to me that I was enough. And I appreciate your analogy because that really opened up like an opportunity for me to experience something totally different.
Because if I'm somebody who wants grit and having grit means struggling, then that really, in my mind at least, means that whatever I'm doing, I have to struggle doing it. Like doing what I do doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be. In fact, I see a lot of people doing it and it's easy. It's easy for them and I beat myself up because it's easy for them. But it's hard for me and the truth is, I'm making it hard because if not, I don't have grit. And I need to have grit because I'm a man. There's this whole screwed up thought process that I go through but I truly believe that those thoughts will keep you imprisoned.
Frank: You know, the one thing that comes to mind through this whole conversation, because I had just been listening and taking it all in, is Andrew's definition of courage, right? It's taking action in spite of those fears, right? You're gonna go do it regardless of what the outcome may be. You're gonna continue going forward. And for me, the way that plays out is, I can think clearly when I was going home from work one day and there's this car accident. And people are just zipping by, right? And all there is is this dad with his baby. And I don't know what's going on. So I jump out and I help him, and I get him to the side of the road and all that and did enough till the EMT showed up.
But I didn't think of anything. It was just my goal, right? The end goal was they need help. I need to be the guy that goes out there and does it because nobody else is doing it. And then once all that settles in, you're like, "Man, what was I thinking?" I'm running across the road and cars are zipping by 60 miles an hour. No thought process. It's just like, "I'm gonna go do." And then direct traffic and do all that. So for me, when you said that analogy, David, of birth, that's what called back for me of, "Man, you're right. You don't think about it."
It is that inner courage that we all have that we suppress, that allows us to get stuck. When if you could just be in faith, you know. The acronym of SOIF, right? Step out in faith. So if you wanna achieve that, step out in faith. So if you wanna accomplish certain things, step out in faith. And when you can do that, man, the power from within that you have is unstoppable. However, you can't do it alone. You have to be dependent. As much as you wanna be independent, there's still the dependency that has to be there. If for no other reason, then the support structure that helps you to achieve those things.
Melina: Do you think that's the real definition of community? I do. I think that's the real definition of community. I think the real definition of community is about being willing to be dependent on each other. I think that's kind of everything and it's so difficult to find. I think we go around life like looking for it and we even look for it in our own families. And, unfortunately, so much of the time, like our family of origin is the very thing that made us want to be independent because we had such a bad experience. And so we then start working toward like, "I guess I got to not depend on them," because at some point we learned we can't depend on them.
Not that anybody's family is bad. It's not that. It's just that history just repeats itself, turns out, in the real estate market, in the stock market and in families. People, we just repeat what we've done until somebody decides to change it. And that's when courage does step in. Courage steps in and says, "Hi. That no longer works and I know that's how you did it, mom, and I know you did it because that's how your mom told you. And, you know, because your mom's mom showed you, showed her, and that's just what it is. Dad's dad dad did it and it's just..." And so at some point, somebody has to put their foot down and say, "I'm gonna change that. I'm gonna change the trajectory of our family."
I know. That's been me and my family. I've made a very intentional decision to dramatically change the trajectory and the legacy that my family has and the legacy of my husband's family. And I got to know, going in, that that is a very difficult thing to do. And that requires grit because not everybody is in agreement with that. Everybody isn't jumping on that bandwagon and saying, "Yeah, let's change it." But I am 100% committed to that and I really...like it never dawned on me to think about grit with courage.
David: Real quick. When you say like not everybody jumps on that bandwagon, I think it's important to realize that grit isn't natural. It's not a natural thing that's gonna happen, I mean, to jump way out there. That's why there is a 1% club [SP]. Grit is not something that naturally happens. What naturally happens is you wanna run. You wanna quit. You say family even doesn't want to jump on that bandwagon, the truth is it's hard, you know. You have to be willing to look at yourself. It takes so much work and so many things.
So it's important to realize it's not gonna just happen. You have to dig really deep to find that grit. You have to make a decision you're going to have grit and stick it out in the hard times.
Melina: Yeah. Isn't that the truth? So true.
Tim: What you just said about, it's not going to happen in the 1%, at certain times in my past I've lived as though it does happen naturally for the 1% and I'm just not it.
Melina: Wow. You know what? Do you realize... That's so good. That's so good. Do you recognize that the last eight years you have developed grit?
Tim: Yeah, I do, based on our conversation in the past but also like specifically today, realizing that grit isn't what I thought it was. Like to be truthful, grit, for me again, it had everything to do with struggle and all of that.
Melina: The grind.
Tim: The grind. And if you would have asked me that question an hour ago, I would have probably said, "No, I don't have grit because..." or, "I do have grit but because I have struggled through things." But now I feel like I do have grit but for like real reasons, if that makes sense.
Like if grit is what we've been talking about today, with faith and with aiming as opposed to striving, I've definitely learned how to do that. I'm not perfect at it. I still have times when all of a sudden I am like white-knuckling it again because that's my thing. But I do have that strength now and I can recognize it in myself. And I can recognize that it is a decision to shift in that moment to realize, "Holy cow, you're white-knuckling it. Just relax a little bit and move forward. Like just relax a little bit and move forward."
Christian: Tim, what you said is huge because I think people are playing a game. And I think you've said this before, it's like, "What game are you playing? And what story are you creating?" It's like for you, you were like, "Okay, well, I'm just not part of that 1%." And you maybe make it harder in your mind to achieve certain things. And I know you guys probably get sick of it but I love Jim Ron [SP] and I always refer...
Melina: I don't get sick of Jim Ron.
Christian: I refer to Jim Ron so much.
Melina: Jim Ron and Jesus is what I need.
Christian: Yeah. So a couple weeks ago, he was saying, "What if you actually had to be wealthy? What if you had to earn a million dollars a year? Not because of the reasons most people think, because they want a car, they want a bigger house. Sure, those things you can still get them but what if you had a big cause that you wanted to support? What if you wanted to take care of your family a little bit better? What if you wanted to take nice vacations?"
You have to earn a certain amount of money to be able to do certain things. The problem is a lot of people, they have to earn enough to make rent. They have to earn enough to make their car payment. And that's what they have to do. They don't have to earn $10,000 a month. They don't have to earn 50 grand a month. And that's the story that so many people play in their head.
Melina: Absolutely. That's so good. You know, I remember, Dave and I, when we'd been broke, you know, so many times, you know, playing with the market, and I can remember we used to look at our budget and look, how can we scale back? And so the last time that we really were struggling financially, I remember we were sitting there going through the budget and we were looking at, "We don't need to have unlimited data or unlimited text messaging." That was a while ago, right? And it was like we were coming up with like, I don't know, a few 100 bucks.
And I just looked at him and I go, "This is ridiculous. Let's just go make more money. Like let's just go make more money."
Christian: And that's a game, which is cool to play. It's cool to play that game.
Melina: And he looked at me and was like, "Huh. That's a good idea." I'm like, "Yeah, screw this. This is dumb. Because, ultimately, we have to make money anyway. So why don't we just go make more of it? It just makes no sense." I mean, if we could quit working and not have unlimited text messaging then I might consider it right. But that's not the fact. The fact is I'm still going to text message. But now I have to scale that down? That just makes no sense to me. I have to do the thing.
Christian: As long as you can make more money, too? It's just like, how? How are you gonna do it? Like, what? There's a million ways. Like, what are you gonna do? Go do it.
Melina: Right. It's exactly what we did. Yeah. So we just go make more of it. We're gonna do the thing anyway to go make the money. So let's just go make more of it and do the thing, whatever the thing is. And we've chosen real estate because real estate is the thing for us that we can do that creates that kind of income for us, which is so it is the thing. It's fun, too, you know. So, awesome sauce. Hey, Frank. What do you think?
Frank: I'm thinking about like when I went through things like we read a lot of books, personal development books, and they come to like actual application when you're going through adversity. So you can read every single personal development book on the planet, even understand it, but until you start applying it because you're going through something, you will have no grit. Period.
Melina: True that. Wait, is grit created when?
Frank: When you go through adversity. That's when you discover what you're really made of and you prove to yourself...
Tim: When you give birth to something?
Melina: When you give birth?
Frank: Whatever it is. If it's giving birth to $200 to pay the rent so you don't get evicted. If it's, you know, 100 bucks so that you could buy groceries so your family doesn't go hungry. You start to learn that you can make things happen through adversity. And that's the only way you start to develop that grit. And the younger you are when you start getting faced with those types of situations, the better you'll be for it as you get older. The more sheltered you were and, you know, kept from adversity, the longer it's gonna take you. And you're gonna struggle, right?
Because you're gonna think things really are easy or whatever. And once you start hitting, you know, those waves that are keeping you out there and you haven't gone through adversity and it finally hits you for the first time in your life, it's very rude awakening.
Melina: It's true. Very, very true.
Frank: People that I know that are super successful or whatever, they had extreme challenges that refined them to be that person. So when the opportunity for business or to be an entrepreneur came, they were exceptionally prepared for it. And the truth is, some people that have grit just don't ever have those opportunities to do that. I mean, even now, as I go through the things and challenges that I go through, I think if I were to go through this 10 years ago I wouldn't be prepared for it as I am now. So I know, through being with this club and with this group, that I've totally grown and I couldn't have done it by myself.
I couldn't have grown to this extent, for a lot of reasons. But I think the grit in making all the adversity worth it, right, is because I get to be with you guys. I'm not going through all this stuff so that I could, you know, go on an island and be by myself. It's so that I can be with my friends and the people that I love. That's, for me, what grit means. It's like I have to not let you guys down, not just myself, because it is a community. And, you know, we're only as strong as our weakest link and I wanna make sure every one of our links are strong. So I have to go through the adversity so I could be stronger.
Oscar: You know, what you brought to mind right now, Frank, is you said...because both you and Christian have talked about reading a lot of books and doing a lot of things, and what comes to mind is everyone sitting here right now has been through a lot of personal development, a lot of coaching, a lot of mentoring, right, and to help with adjusting the mindset and creating some clarity for each other and you know, for yourselves, right, in how you should proceed in life and the things that you need to do and the choices you need to make. But it isn't because you did it by yourself, right?
It's because you were in a community and that coaching and mentoring was made available on a constant and consistent basis. It's not show up and leave. It's show up and come back and come back and come back because that's the only way that that all really sinks in and you're able to grow. Because otherwise it just becomes like input in, input out and nothing is ever done. But if you continue to read, listen, apply, right, you continue to do that, then life changes for you. But, for me, it's absolutely the coaching and the mentoring that takes place that adjust the mindset. And with the mindset, clarity sets forth so you can actually move forward and do things.
Melina: So good. You know, as each one of you were speaking, I was thinking to myself, "I love this table, you know. Like, you know, obviously, not this table, you know. Like not this one that these microphones are sitting on.
Oscar: I love lamp.
Melina: Yeah, not like that. You know, but just that I love that we get to sit at this table, that we get to sit together at this table and how often we sit at the table together, how fortunate and blessed we are that we get to sit at this table together and get to have these types of conversations. And so we could go on and on but I'm gonna bring it down to a close now because I'm sure we've gone over. I was just thinking to myself, "Welcome to the table." And, really, that's what you got to experience today as a listener is you got to be a part of our table and a part of the conversations that take place all the time. And just for me, personally, I feel unbelievably grateful to have a seat here at this table with each one of you.
Oscar: Good stuff.
Melina: Good stuff.
Oscar: We should continue these type of conversations.
Melina: I think we should.
Oscar: The next podcast.
Melina: Yeah. I think we should, too. All right, NWAC is flippin' out.
I'm Melina Boswell, your host of the "Flippin' Off" podcast." I really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we'd love for you to subscribe, give us a five-star rating and tell your friends all about us. You can find more episodes of the "Flippin' Off" podcast" on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever else you like to listen to awesome podcasts like this. If you like what you've heard, we'd really appreciate it if you'd follow us on Facebook and Instagram and tell us the stories that you'd like to hear.
Tim Jackson is our senior producer. Luke Jackson is our editor. Brothers. Josh Mauldin is our producer. Sound design by Frequency Factory. Our executive producer is Mind & Mill. This was all created by Dave Boswell for New Wealth Advisors Club.