The Settlement

Podcast Transcription

Dave: All right, and you've been now here for how long?

Melina: With the club, you mean?

Dave: Yeah.

Man 1: Yeah I mean, I'm....

Dave: Yeah, not...

Man 2: He was born in California.

Dave: Hey, we're gonna need, Melina's mic is gonna need to be off.

Melina: Oh my gosh, you're so good at math.

Dave: Oh my gosh.

Melina: You should be a real estate investor. You should flip houses for a living.

Dave: Oh my goodness, that would be awesome.

Melina: Instead of crunching numbers.

Dave: I don't need a calculator.

Narrator: Welcome to Flipping Off, a purpose driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference.

Dave: Well here we are, podcast number 27. Twenty-seven honey, how does that feel?

Melina: Feels like, I don't know, one more than 26 and one less than 28. I don't even know what it feels like.

Dave: Silly. Silly girl.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: So Dave Boswell here, founder of New Wealth Advisors Club along with co-founder, my wife, Ms. Melina Boswell.

Melina: Hello.

Dave: And we've gotten the studio today, we're actually, we say podcast number 27 because we're really talking about a year we have been doing this. And time has flown by. We've covered the gamut, if you will.

Melina: Yeah, you know what's scary is whenever people start to say, "Oh, you know, time flies." And then, literally, the older you get the quicker time goes. It's pretty freaky.

Dave: Yeah.

Melina: You realize, "Oh my gosh, I must be really old," because, you know,

Dave: I remember our parents saying that.

Melina: I know. Unbelievable.

Dave: My parents saying that. Like, "Oh yeah, one day, don't worry, time will go by."

Melina: Mm-hmm.

Dave: And you'd sit there bored all day every day.

Melina: All you wanted was to be 16, and then to be 18, and then to be 21, and then it didn't matter.

Dave: Yeah, well, anyways. We've been having fun this morning. And we've got Oscar Solaris here with us. Good morning, Oscar.

Oscar: Hey, good morning.

Dave: And in the studio today we've got a couple that we've gotten to know a little bit over these last couple years. We've got Luis and Ariana Medina. Good morning guys.

Luis: Good morning.

Ariana: Good morning.

Dave: How are you two?

Luis: Great.

Ariana: We're good.

Dave: Wow, you really married up. Like you got, like, wow. You claim him, really?

Ariana: Yeah.

Dave: Yeah? Lucky guy. Look at him blushing.

Ariana: He is a lucky guy.

Dave: We've got him blushing already and everything.

Luis: Oh my god. It's just the beginning.

Dave: It's just the beginning. Well, we've got to be careful because we don't want to have to edit this stuff, so we're gonna keep it PG here. But, we've had the privilege if you will, of, first of all, we got to know Luis prior to even knowing Ariana existed, there for a little bit. And so, what we wanted to do, there's a few things that, a few reasons why we wanted to be able to sit down with the two of you. As we've gotten to know you over time, I don't want to let everything out, I want you guys to talk about it. But just, you have a unique experience in your life and where you guys sit and your experiences, if you will, that have brought you to the club and then ultimately looking at growing a business together now. And then even potentially multiple businesses that you guys are working on and different ideas. And you've come from a lot too. Like I said, I told you before, I wouldn't pry too much, but my wife's here and I won't promise that she won't. So, with that, if you wouldn't mind, give us a little bit of background. Like, so Luis, you came to us a couple years ago looking for what?

Luis: I came to the club two and a half years ago looking for settlement, I would say, in one word. Being raised as an entrepreneur and...unknowingly being raised as an entrepreneur by my dad, it's quite hard when you're out there in the world trying to juggle things around and not having any assistance or having a team. Or in fact, having somebody just tap you on the shoulder and say, "You know what? It's gonna be okay. Scrub it off and move on." So when I seen the sign and I talked to Christian and he brought so much, he emphasized so much in the team itself, I said, "Dude, this is like a no-brainer to me." The rest that he said after that, I don't even remember hearing, you know?

Dave: So you're out there, let's go back to the word settlement. So, expand on that for me. What does that mean?

Luis: So, you know, I've been blessed throughout the years. I actually got to a point where I felt I was God's chosen child. Because everything I would touch would just resolve, you know. I had multiple successful businesses that I didn't even know how they came. I would just say, "I'm gonna do that," and it would work out.

Dave: Hmm.

Luis: And it was good, it was great. But it got tiring, you know. I'm 38 years old. I started hustling the streets when I was, I want to say, 10, 11. You know, selling food, selling shoes, selling jeans. Whatever my dad could get his hands on for us to go bring some food onto the table.

Dave: And where was this at?

Luis: This was in Mexico.

Dave: Okay.

Luis: Before we went to Mexico he bought us a DJ, and we would DJ around as kids. And I remember we used to help him DJ but he would let us take care of the whole gig, you know, in an effort to, I don't know if he was intentionally planning to make us independent, you know? But he did. He did. I just had this conversation with him not too long ago, and as a matter of fact after being in the club, just thanking him for building in me who he didn't know he was building. So coming to the club gave me the environment, the energy I was missing throughout all those years. And I could settle and be in peace. You know, I've told Melina multiple times, I honestly do feel in heart and mind that I'm at peace. I let nothing come fracture that because I found what I was looking for. I found that energy, I found that friendship, that safe net. To be able to grow. And not so much grow as an entrepreneur, but now I've grown as a man. I've grown as a man to my wife, I've grown as a man to my parents, to my siblings. I've grown up as a man to respecting my work more, my commitments way more, and my children. So settlement, my email is 555LuisM, right? I read 555 and it comes from Greek and it means thankful for life, ready for death. So in a sense of gratefulness. And I think that, away from all the fears of letting go of the kids and life itself, I'm in peace. I found that settlement in New Wealth Advisors Club by all means.

Dave: Wow.

Melina: Yeah, okay.

Dave: Jeez. Okay. Breathe.

Melina: Yeah, obviously that's powerful.

Dave: Yeah, that was very powerful. So there's a lot to that backstory that a lot of people don't know. And so, because you brought up all that, I'm going to dig into that just a little bit deeper. So when I met you, that wasn't the guy I saw. Right? So, when you first came it was more those businesses that you talked about, you were very successful and we'll even say at some point, probably rich. You had tons of money, you talked about how money was like water for you at some point. And then you weren't fulfilled in any of that.

Luis: No.

Dave: Right? And so there was a time...

Melina: Wait. Money doesn't buy happiness?

Dave: Yeah, you've said that many, many times. We definitely know that to be true. So then you've been doing business now 20 something years, construction now 23?

Luis: Twenty-three.

Dave: Twenty-three years. And when I say construction, this guy doesn't do construction like you're thinking of. He's an artist. I mean, it's mind-blowing the stuff that he's created.

Melina: That's true.

Dave: But there was a valley there. And that valley, you became an alcoholic.

Luis: Yeah.

Dave: Yeah. And how long was that period like? What happened there?

Luis: I just lost control of everything our Lord gave me. I lost sense for the value of money. It was just a safe hiding spot. You know, it was just comfortable. I didn't want to face life after a couple failures. And I just hid. I just hid and I felt safe about it and it was the right thing to do at that time, in my mind, to the best of my knowledge. Little did I know that I was fracturing the life of my wife. You know, I didn't, I wasn't man enough to understand that. So I didn't know that I was creating a path into the same failures for my kids. Just giving them the same habits. I was blessed enough to quit before they understood what being an alcoholic is. Missed, yeah, I've missed every single, every single adventure that they've enjoyed in life.

Dave: This was a period for how, how many years?

Luis: Wow. Mama?

Melina: I was gonna say, ask Ariana.

Ariana: Four or five.

Dave: Four or five years?

Ariana: Yeah.

Luis: Yeah.

Dave: And you guys have been together how long now?

Ariana: Yesterday was actually our 10th year anniversary.

Dave: Yesterday was?

Luis: Yesterday.

Melina: Aw.

Dave: Aw.

Luis: Yeah.

Dave: Well that's pretty awesome.

Luis: Yeah.

Dave: Congratulations.

Ariana: Thank you.

Luis: Yeah, and you know what...

Dave: So half that time.

Luis: Half of the time.

Ariana: Mm-hmm.

Luis: Yeah, everything shifted and we're improving. You know, we're working on it as adults growing into that. Melina is part of that, she's helping us. We're reading books and looking at different things that you guys have been through that have helped you overcome objections that...

Dave: Obstacles and you know.

Luis: I didn't know honestly, it was an option to read a book and see someone else's opinion to grow into it. You know? I mean, mind you I dropped out fifth grade of school, so books to me were no value whatsoever. So I didn't think, "Okay, if I didn't like a science book, you know, and why would I go read a book that's gonna tell me how to live?" You know?

Dave: Makes sense.

Ariana: Makes perfect sense.

Dave: Yeah. So let me, wow. So ten years, and about half that time Luis really wasn't there and obviously that had to be a huge struggle for the family.

Ariana: Yes, very huge.

Dave: And when you first came, we didn't know what was going on in the marriage and so forth. Ariana, I gotta say, there's a gigantic difference in who you are these last, I don't know, year and a half maybe, since getting to know you and having both of you around together. Why don't you share a little bit about, if you wouldn't mind, what's that look like? What's Luis look like and how has that encouraged you maybe to, what's going on here? Because I don't want to hear only from Luis.

Ariana: Well, Luis brought me into the club about...

Luis: Kicking and screaming and...

Ariana: Yes. He actually tricked me into going.

Luis: You gotta trick them sometimes.

Melina: That's awesome.

Ariana: He did. He really did. And he tricked me also into attending the three day training. But I thank him for it, because that completely changed my life. With him, you know, I come from a totally different background where I grew up in the mindset of work hard, have what you want, and then just retire. So I was working for the Navy for ten years as an engineering technician, and I was working corporate America and, you know, putting in my eight hours a day and getting paid on Friday, every Friday. So it was really hard for me to kind of transition and support him when he decided to do this. So that was really hard on me, but it was an eye opening experience. It completely changed our lives. I was working, back when he was doing his alcohol, when he was into his alcohol, I was the head of household, I had to take care of everything. So quitting my job and doing this full time was not an option because I was always on survivor mode. So I think that had a big, that was kind of holding me back. But when I attended that course and I just saw what you guys were all about, I was like, "Okay, well let me give this a try." You know, I joined and about six months later I was able to quit my job and fully focus on our family. So that was a huge blessing.

Dave: You guys have a newborn, basically a newborn, a one year old, yeah?

Ariana: Yeah, he's one.

Luis: He's one.

Dave: Nine, what'd you say? Nine, eight and oops?

Luis: Yeah. Nine, eight and oops, yes.

Ariana: The biggest blessing there is.

Dave: Oh my gosh, he's so cute.

Melina: I think, you know, I'm just listening to Ariana and I feel very like, I think it's so powerful to hear what you're saying because I think that so many women, specifically, can relate to what you're saying. And I remember having the conversation with Luis once where he's becoming present to everything inside of your marriage and hadn't realized how not present he was. And the idea that you would walk around, you would have $20,000 in your pocket and Ariana would say, "We don't have any milk." And he just wouldn't be aware of it, and how out of touch you were with your family at that point in time. So trying to get you to understand that Ariana's the one who made sure that there was milk and that the kids, you know, she was the head of household. And you were out creating, making a lot of money, but there was absolutely no semblance of unit, right, in your family, based on that. Obviously I'm not trying to beat you up, Luis, at all.

Luis: No.

Melina: You know that. But you would work very hard. The irony in it is that your whole focus has always been your family, right? That's the irony. Everything you do is for your family, yet you weren't present with them and didn't even know it. So there was a lot of walls to break through for both of you. A lot of walls to come down. And I remember when Luis joined he told us that Ariana wasn't a fan, wasn't supporting him. And who could blame her, really? And I think that's the case with so many couples.

Dave: Sure.

Melina: We see it so much of the time. People come in, one of the spouses, and the other spouse isn't on board with this dream, if you will, that somebody has, and usually it's for a good reason.

Dave: Right. Yeah, I mean, she had every justification for why this would just be another one of those things where it would leave her with more to take care of at home.

Melina: Yes, exactly.

Dave: It would just be another thing that Luis would do that, even if I had money, it wouldn't mean anything because...

Luis: Right.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: was really meaningless at the end of the day.

Melina: Absolutely.

Luis: Yep, yep.

Dave: So it's been pretty remarkable. I mean, I've had the privilege of spending a few months kind of, for lack of a better way of putting it, one on one with Luis and spending time and watching that. But just, you know, I just want to congratulate both of you for, I don't want to say hanging in there, because it was more than just hanging in there, you know?

Luis: Yeah, way more.

Melina: Fighting.

Dave: Yeah. The fighting, the willingness that you had, because I've also had some conversations without punching Luis in the mouth, but you know, punching him with words like, "Hey, you know, you gotta wake up. This is what this is really gonna look like, otherwise one day you're gonna wake up living in regret." And seeing a huge difference in just the kids and the two of you, and who you are. And then Oscar, I actually brought Oscar now here because Oscar and I were having a conversation just about, like, the past and how certain things, in our minds, and I think this maybe happened for Luis, like, "Okay, I gotta let all that stuff go." Right, all my past, I'm just gonna let it all go and maybe Oscar, you can expand on what that looked like when we were talking about that and the conversation you maybe had with Luis.

Oscar: It's interesting because you're right, it's something that, in particular, I think it's the people that have a lot of success in life, there's a lot of lessons learned. And when we talk about creating a clean slate, right, and the...I'll call it the mistake that we make, is that we tend to forget everything in our past. And by doing that there's lessons learned that are of value that need to be brought in. So I had a conversation with Luis about it. And it was clear, right, that like me, he had gone through the same thing. Because I completely relate to his, everything I touched right, was great. I didn't know what failure was, until you do. And then you acknowledge it and you want to make a change. But that change, you have to bring those previous lessons back in, and you have to carry them forward because all that's going to help you going forward in this business that we do, right? The real estate, the coaching, the mentoring, all that stuff. So it was cool to see, to have that conversation with you, Luis, and...

Luis: Yeah, I thank you for that.

Oscar: It's interesting to be able to now be in that space of being able to help other people like that. But you're right, it's something that happens to a lot of us. It's just a matter of working through it and having somebody, like you said, that is willing to tap you on the shoulder, have that conversation, and move forward.

Luis: It's valuable, yep.

Dave: I think it's one of the, probably the intangibles, if you will. So we created this club, and I'm certain, if you ask Melina, we never envisioned what this would look like, you know, man, almost ten years later now. What it would look like, what it would evolve into, and so forth. Initially it was, you know, it's a real estate investment club, that's what we're gonna do, and we're just gonna go buy houses and we're gonna flip houses and...

Melina: Well we learned, "Oh, you have to have your team, right?" Go build your team. So we were like, "We're gonna build our team."

Dave: Let's find some teammates. Okay. So you build a team, right? And I don't think we...did we, maybe you can correct me on this, honey, but did you have the forethought of like the team would be intimate relationships like this? Like where we know, I know I can call Oscar at any hour of any day and he's there. Like 100 percent. And I can cry on his shoulder, I can vent on him, I can do all those things and I know tomorrow he's one of my best friends, right?

Melina: Right.

Dave: And I can do the same thing with Luis and Ariana and, like, I didn't envision that in the beginning of developing this whole club. Did you ever, did you have that forethought?

Melina: No, I don't think so. I don't think that we, you know, I think that we've both been gifted with the skill set to inspire and to bring people along, right? And to have some insight into people. But I think the thing for me, that was missed, that I never had any expectation of, was that there would be a reciprocal relationships happening.

Dave: Right.

Melina: And, you know, the power in that, that there's friendships, now, you know? That Ariana is one of my closest friends, you know, in terms of how I trust her. I trust her and I've given her a place in my life that I don't give very many women, right? And I've understood the importance and the power in having relationships like that. And that isn't something I think I ever envisioned. I don't think either one of us ever envisioned it.

Dave: Yeah, I definitely don't. And I think a lot of times we hear people come in and they're kind of wandering around, maybe even kind of like Luis, you know, unsettled, if you will.

Melina: Yeah.

Dave: They're wandering around because really, we're all thinking in our own heads. So, they usually find the club because they want to get involved in real estate because they want to make more money.

Melina: Yep.

Dave: Right, that's what...

Melina: Generally.

Dave: Generally speaking, 99% of the time people come in saying those things. "I've been here, I've been there, I'm trying to figure this whole thing out." And I think what they, maybe none of us have ever stopped and really thought about is like, to do this business in a big way, in a powerful way that's impactful, like it takes solid people around you, right?

Melina: Yes.

Dave: Like a rock solid foundation. And I think we, well I mean I'm certain we do, but we all take it for granted that we have such a place that we can come to and not be in a hotel and you know, be able to say, "Oh, tomorrow we're just hanging out." Like we're having a huge, what are we calling it? A tailgate, you know, where like, we're having a party at the office and why are we...

Melina: It's a buffet in the parking lot.

Dave: Yeah. Why are we doing that? Because...

Melina: Or a potluck.

Dave: ...because every year we go to the Angels game and nobody goes in the Angels game anymore, we all sit out in the parking lot and hang out with our families and, I mean, it's just such a unique environment. A culture that's been created that's just mind boggling, you know? I think we've definitely...

Melina: Yeah. Don't you think the power in it though is the fact that none of us created it?

Dave: It wasn't a game plan. It wasn't...

Oscar: I like to call it, it was created organically.

Dave: Yeah.

Oscar: It was, what Melina was talking about is the innate ability that you two have to empower, encourage and inspire people, and get them through whatever they're dealing with and get really to see who they truly are. That coupled with the actions, people actually taking it all in and taking action to make the corrections they need to make and so forth. I know for me, I had no clue what I was getting into.

Melina: Probably wouldn't have signed up.

Oscar: Zero clue. Now I look back and it's like, pretty awesome. You don't find this anywhere else.

Dave: No. Well, with that, I...

Melina: Do we do real estate?

Dave: I was like...

Melina: That's right we do. That's right, we do.

Dave: So this podcast is about flipping houses and making a difference. I think that's a big, big part that's often times missed. Because we can sit on podcasts all day and talk about real estate deals and details about this flip and this wholesale. I mean, gosh, we just bought a house together and put a family in it the other day. It's pretty amazing, but the real value in what we do inside the club is right here.

Melina: Yes.

Dave: This is the real value.

Melina: That's right.

Dave: And the people that are listening to this, if they can get that, you know, Luis wanted to provide for his family, right? So he's wandering around trying to pick up enough dollars to make it so it was okay, but really at the end of the day destroying the family, not recognizing that, being man enough to, when he's confronted with that, to say, "Okay, let me make the changes." To now see the two of you, a year and a half, two years later, you look totally different. I wish we could go back and grab some pictures or video of what you looked like a couple years ago.

Melina: Seriously, yeah.

Dave: And just your whole countenance, your whole persona, everything. I want to be around you and I feed off of that, and that's awesome too. You know, having three beautiful children and the children knowing that Dad's gonna be there. They're gonna have memories now of Dad not being drunk, but Dad's sober and at soccer practice and all those things. And this little club and the group of people that are in there made that. Or at least gave you the opportunity to wake up and...

Ariana: That's really all it is.

Dave: That's it, you know.

Luis: The rest is just nature brings it together. You know, the elements in real life bring it together, you just gotta have the courage to want it.

Melina: Yes. That's so key.

Dave: I think that's kind of a big thing for those listening. That might be a good thing for people to be really pondering, right? You've got to have the courage to want it.

Luis: Yeah, yeah. You know in the beginning I put my mind to it. I said I'm gonna come do it, my wife was skeptical about it. But now I think of it, you know, completely unrelated, but then again, completely connected is Sebastian, he's one year old, right? He's so afraid of letting go to walk on his own, yet he knows that's freedom. Right? He knows in his heart that's freedom because every time we hold his hand, he enjoys it. But he's just not ready for it, right? So with the right coaching, with the right guidance, he's gonna get to walking on his own. So as a child, he doesn't know but he's skeptical about the freedom that's about to come. And that's exactly what I was when I came in here. A child looking to get taught how to walk.

Dave: Wow.

Oscar: You know, where that hit me is we were talking about, earlier today, wealth. People wanting to build wealth. And what does that look like for people and what their definition is and all that goes into it, but what you just said is really what captures that, right? You have to be ready for it. You have to be emotionally, mentally, physically ready to take on the responsibilities that come with that wealth. And through it, and with the club, that's how that is developed, right? Because you have to become a certain individual to be able to start moving forward into that dream, if you will. So I think you captured it perfectly well with that analogy.

Ariana: Yeah, I was just thinking that. I think that you said it perfectly. You have to have the courage to want it. I think that's like, boom.

Dave: Wow, yeah. Definitely. Pretty powerful. Well I can say this, that a year into doing these podcasts I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy it. I appreciate you guys very much for being willing to come out here and share with us. And I hope that others will listen to this message and if they're in a valley and they're looking for the opportunity to not only, not only from the perspective of making money, I get that. We all need that. But really working on who you are and building the character that's necessary know,we always say with wealth comes responsibility. And so you have the responsibility, obviously, to each other and then to your kids and what the ripple effect is going to be like. I can't wait to see ten years from now.

Melina: Oh, I know.

Luis: I'm excited.

Melina: I know. I can't wait until your 20th wedding anniversary. Right? We should do a podcast on your 20th wedding anniversary.

Ariana: That would be so cool.

Luis: We should schedule it.

Melina: We should schedule it now. I feel like we should be in Bora Bora, though.

Dave: I don't know what podcasts will look like in ten years.

Melina: I know, that's true. I wonder if it'll be, yeah, it'll be interesting won't it?

Dave: We probably won't have to go to a studio.

Melina: We should all go to Bora Bora.

Luis: Yeah.

Dave: Oh, yeah. Been there, done that.

Melina: Ariana, yeah, sure. We should so do that. Yes.

Dave: All right, well with that we're gonna leave you with that. Thank you guys so much for coming out today and we'll catch all of you guys in a couple weeks.

Melina: Yep. We are Flipping Out.