Stay In Your Journey Part One - Episode 61

Podcast Transcription

Melina: Welcome to Flippin’ Off, a purpose-driven podcast about flipping houses and making a difference.

Melina: Well, hello, hello. It's so weird, as I was listening to the intro to the music, I was thinking it's...I don't know how to describe this to you guys except for when I listened to it I can just sit there and wait for somebody else to talk. And I realized nothing is gonna happen unless I start speaking and that I'm the one that starts this. So that's a weird thing to have a revelation of. So, I am Melina Boswell, co-founder of New Wealth Advisors Club. Today with me in the studio, I have Oscar Solares.

Oscar: Hey, there.

Melina: Frank Luna.

Frank: Hello,

Melina: Spoon.

Spoon: Hey guys.

Melina: Tim Wilkinson

Tim: Hi.

Melina: Ernesto in his secret role, Sito. And our very own Tito Jackson. All right, so in full transparency, here I go. I'm gonna talk a little bit today about just more personal stuff than I think I've ever shared before. It's part of my journey, I suppose, and so it's weird to like kind feels as if I am kind of sharing...I was gonna say coming out, so like I'm coming out on the podcast which could mean a whole bunch of different things. But I'm coming out in terms of being more honest and more transparent because I feel a strong urging to do so, and I am not happy about that. I feel unbelievably uncomfortable and kind of like knots in my stomach and I feel all these weird physical symptoms happening to me right now. And that is the feeling that I get whenever I'm gonna to feel really exposed, right? When you feel exposed because you feel vulnerable, or I'll just speak for myself, I feel vulnerable when I feel exposed. And when I'm vulnerable, then that means people can, you know, hurt you.

So, at that risk I'm still going to just be more honest with you guys probably than I', I'm always honest. I guess more transparent is really the word. So, part of, you know, the new journey that I am on in my life right now, I am a widow which is still like a very weird thing for me to wrap my mind around, that I'm a widow, that I'm no longer married and all that that entails and I'm in my first year of grief. And you know, everybody has something to share with you about your, you know, your grief. Lots of people, you know, people wanna have a prescription, like, "Hey, you know, in this amount of time, this is how you'll feel, or this first thing or that thing or whatever." And what I've come to realize is that none of that, nobody's experience is the same. Everybody has a different experience when they're in the first, you know, the beginnings of their grief. So, I've made the decision early on that after Dave passed away that I was going to stay in my journey and stay in life. I hope everybody understands what I mean when I say that. Staying in, meaning my tendency is to want to withdraw, to isolate, to just like go be by myself. To just, you know, like take my dog and my people and disappear because that's so much easier. And so, I would much prefer to do that.

But I made a decision early on that I wouldn't do that, that I would stay in life and I would stay in the journey with the people that I love and to the calling that I believe that is on my life. And that has everything to do with the club. So, I'm not even sure exactly what that looks like. I don't know. But I know that the market is changing, and I know that the...maybe the intentions or maybe even the direction of the club is changing a little bit with the market because I think our strategies change. And I believe that the foundation that we've created at the club is just a beautiful canvas that we get to create whatever we need to or whatever we choose to create on it. And if you know me, you know that I am a believer and I believe that God directs my path and I don't want to do anything other than be in his will and stay on his path. And the funny thing about faith is that, you know, there's like no directions, like it doesn't come with instructions, you know.

So, it isn't like you can open up a book and like, "Oh, this is what you should do with your life, this is how you should...this is where you should go, this is how you should do it, this is what you should..." Right? And I think every one of us wants that, and the reality is is that that's just not life and it definitely requires no faith. If there were billboards, right, telling me everything to do, then it would require no faith on my part. So, this is part of my faith and journey and stepping out in it and not really being clear or certain where it's bringing me. I'm gonna share something that's interesting I think. When we rebranded the club in 2016 and we started like with our logo and we wanted to, you know, we gave everything a face-lift. We gave the office a face-lift and updated our logo and, you know, tried to bring it current because it was like 10 years old. And so, in the process of that, Dave and I would have conversations about how weird the name New Wealth Advisors Club is, and if we could just change it because we don't really know what it means because it doesn't say anything about real estate and it's a little bit confusing.

But that's just the name that we chose and because we were creating new wealth because neither one of us come from any family wealth, right? As opposed to old money, we were creating new wealth. And I am now coming to the...and we didn't change the name in 2016 because we felt that we had created a following and we just...we knew we could not change the name at that time because it just would have looked some kind of way. And as I've been having conversations with my leadership team, we've talked about this and I actually posed this question. I said, "What is wealth?" Right? Like, what is wealth actually is? I mean, we all think of wealth as money but maybe wealth isn't money, maybe there is wealth, I mean, obviously, wealth does have...does reflect money, but maybe wealth is more than money. And so I wanna talk a little bit about that, what the real wealth is in our lives. And like in my mind, if I were to...and one of the things I always ask students is this, you know, they come into our club because they want to learn how to do real estate because they want to make money because they want financial freedom.

And financial freedom is like the tell-all, it's what everybody's working toward. But when you ask somebody what financial freedom actually is, like, how do you arrive at financial freedom? There's very generic answers, right? Like, "Oh, I just don't wanna worry about money," Right? Or "I just want all my bills to be paid" or things like that. And the truth is, nobody really...if you haven't really sat down and identified what financial freedom is to you, you're just aiming at a target that you're never going to hit. You know, you'll go around from seminars, you'll try different businesses, you even change jobs, you' do all these different things like chasing some dream that you haven't even really identified. And so my belief is that wealth has very little to do with money. I believe that wealth, it has everything to do with who you are as a human being, and the relationships that you have in your life. And I know this, when you get that right or at least you're on the right journey, wealth in terms of money just shows up, and that's what I teach.

And I use real estate as my vehicle. But real estate is, I'm not passionate about it. And so it's kind of funny because as our intro, right, it's about flipping houses and making a difference. What difference, right?

Frank: It's almost backwards. Maybe it should be about making a difference and flipping houses.

Melina: Yeah. So, maybe I can start the conversation here with you guys asking you, you know, if you were to identify what wealth is for you, what is it? I know. Listen, just so you guys know...

Frank: A lot of deer in headlights.

Melina: Yeah. Because this wasn't the conversation we talked about at all. Nobody knows that I was gonna ask this. I didn't know, and here we are.

Frank: Yeah. Well, I've been having a lot of conversations about that with my wife. And in doing this business, started 2009, and before I started learning about flipping houses and real estate, I lived in Rialto and I was actually a deacon at my church. And I went through some, you know, I got laid off from my job. And the reality was, I was completely, just completely consumed by my job, 12 hours. And I wanted to make a change, so I could spend more time with my family. So, while I was making a really good living at my job, you know, I just over time, over, over time, had no time to spend with my family. So, although I was a deacon at my church, and my, you know, never missed church service and I was serving there, I don't feel that my family life...I don't think I was wealthy from that perspective that, you know, I was spending the right amount of time with my kids and stuff. So I needed to change. So, when I got laid off, it was a welcome change. I was like, what am I gonna do? And I already knew that Dave and Melina were really very influential in my life although I only saw them once a year for my taxes. But always looked forward to speaking with them, letting know what I was up to and having my counseling session with Dave while he did my taxes.

I didn't care what the tax amount was gonna be. I was just looking forward to connecting with Dave because he was a fellow believer. And we always talked about stuff like that, how the family was, am I happy, do I feel like I am, you know, do I felt like I was doing what God's called me to do and I didn't feel like I was. I didn't feel God called me to work all that overtime and be... And there was no choice, I never volunteered, it was mandatory. The job that I worked at although it was a union job, there was mandatory overtime that you cannot turn down. With that, they did have clauses in there where they had to give you certain amount of time off after I think it was like, it could have been like 12 or 15 days in a row, then they'd give you a day off. I would work 12 hours every day continuously for up to that amount of time, might have been 20 days, then they would give me a mandatory day off. I don't think I was happy. I don't think I wasn't experiencing a wealthy life. Although had money in the bank account, definitely not happy.

So I got laid off. And over the years and been in real estate, my income was replaced than what I was making there, and it increased every year. And I was like, okay, I'm spending time with my family. But what I realized is although financially I had started to do better, and I felt like this was the right path, I would say maybe two years ago I realized that before I started doing the business I attended church more, I felt like my spiritual walk was better. And I realized is, in creating my business, I lost focus of that. Like, I was always, I'm a workaholic. So, that's why at that job I had, I was able to work all those hours. Because I never felt, you know, like, there wasn't a choice and I got into that rut of always working. So, I took that same thing and I was just always working in this business. So, what really got ahold of me was, all right, so if spiritually at my church I was, you know, dedicated, I was there, then I start doing this business and that starts doing well and I lost focus there, I realized there was no...there wasn't a balance I lost.

And, you know, I hate to use that word, balanced. More of, you know, the way I wake up in the morning, the first thing which I've been doing now but I know before, the first thing I do, I'll checking my emails. You know, check my emails, what's going on, on the group view, you know, that stuff. Like I'm working from when I wake up until I go to sleep. That would be my pattern for, you know, up till I'll say about 2016 or even almost as late as 2017. And now I realized that no matter what kind of success I was creating by always working, I was not focused on the right thing which to me should be my savior. I was not focused on that, and it was more like I'm going to do that at the end of the day or once a week, so I can say that I'm a Christian, right? Because I believe I was Christian and I know I had conversations with God about if I'm doing the right thing, you know, making sure I'm walking that path. And I think in having success in the business, I think...I felt that was evidence that it was walking the right path. But when I look back I was like, no, that's not it, because my work ethic was what was producing those results and I wasn't asking for God to bless those results.

So, when I wake up in the morning, I've changed my focus so that whatever success that I experience I've been asking for God to bless that and to be a part of that instead of just me. So, you know, going through all the different, so many different conversations with Dave and Melina to, I don't want to say fix me but there was definitely some things that were broken and weren't working. And the hardest part about those things is realizing what they are and then helping to get unstuck. So, the relationships that Melina, when she first talked about wealth and she said relationships, it's absolutely relationships. It's my relationship with the Lord, with my wife, with my friends, that is wealth, period. No amount of money can take the place of that.

Christian: Hi, this is Christian Rios. As many of you know, I have been a member of New Wealth Advisors Club for over seven years and got started when I was 17 years old with absolutely no real estate experience. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from being in the industry is the need for authentic relationships. If you're looking for an actual team locally in Southern California with all the resources needed to close deals, register for one of our free workshops by visiting Thanks for listening to the Flippin’ Off podcast.

Melina: Yeah. So, it's funny. We were talking about the conversation was gonna be tips for when you get stuck, like what do you do when you get stuck? And so Frank hit on it a little bit, and then I came in and just totally switched the whole conversation. Not intentionally, I didn't know what I was going to open up with. This has been a conversation that's been's been ongoing at our table for months now. And the conversation has evolved, right? And it's made us much more clear on what our mission is and maybe defining wealth, right? And so I appreciate you sharing, Frank, like being stuck. So, yeah, you know, what I realized is that sometimes I think I'm stuck but, you know, I think identifying being stuck has to do with your circumstances. And the truth is, well, I'm not stuck, like, I just can't see exactly where I'm supposed to go. So like, I put a name around it that says I'm stuck. And I'm not really stuck. Like, I get up every single day. I have breath I have movement, I have a brain, I have the opportunity to go do something every single day.

What do I choose to do with my breath, and my movement, and my life? What do, you know, my brain, my...what do I choose to do? That's when you get stuck, is when you do nothing with those things, where you just put words to that feeling of not knowing what am I supposed to do today. Like, there's so many things to do, but I don't know what to do exactly, right? Does that make sense? So, why don't you, either one of you, I don't care, Oscar or Tim, which one of you wanna to share maybe what happened for you when I talked about...

Oscar: When you talk about?

Melina: Wealth, new wealth.

Oscar: What happened for me was that I feel, like I kept wondering like, I'm hearing both you and Frank talk and I'm feeling just this really low energy, almost sad, it almost sounds like. And I just was wondering, like why is that where this podcast is? Why are we in this sad space? Almost, like I don't know if it's sad or not, but it seemed very...somber is the word that I hear from both of you. But at the same time, your words are encouraging, but I just wondered, you know, what is it. And I wonder if it's because, like for me, it feels like the market is changing a little bit. As a club, we're changing. And for me, there's like an excitement there inside of the potential of whatever it ends up looking like. And I think that part of... For me, when you talk about being stuck, where I go is that if you ask me, what do we need to do to get unstuck? I think part of it is being able to speak, being able to share that you are stuck or that you feel stuck. Because what happens inevitably is that when you really are transparent, and you vocalize it, there's typically somebody else who has a different perspective or a different energy about, you know, potential solutions or just a different perspective.

And I think by sharing and getting it out there, I don't know about you guys, but I know that when I am stuck and I'm in my head, sometimes just saying it to myself out loud in the car. And it's just me sometimes just saying it out loud, and I'll hear how freaking retarded what I was thinking actually was. So, I know that by sharing it with people that I trust and by people who know me and love me and see...they can definitely see a different perspective than I can. And

I think that for me, the biggest thing step one of getting unstuck is to verbalize that you are stuck and be open to maybe a different perspective.

Melina: So, when you ask that question, like why am I, like what is that? And I was thinking back to, I don't know, I don't even know how I got there. And as I was looking back to just seriously 15 minutes ago if even that, when I was sharing this deep-seated feeling I have of change coming, it's a feeling of there's two things happening for me. There's a feeling of fear, you know, of what that looks like. But that's what I thought it was. It's like the fear of unknowing. But the truth is, is that I've never been afraid of the unknown. I'm just not because I'm not tied to stuff. I don't really care about stuff, frankly. And so the truth is, is that I'm scared because I'm alone, you know. I'm scared that, yeah, that's what it is. I'm just so afraid because I am alone and feeling like so much is on my shoulders, you know, and that I have people to lead. And maybe there's this fear of, you know, Dave not being with me and feeling like it's just a weird feeling. I don't know how else to describe it but that's what it is.

Oscar: I was thinking the same thing you were thinking. But I mean I identify as like, well, if we're talking about what's the most important thing in life? Right? If we're talking about things that, in my opinion, affect who we are, who we show up to be for people, and that' me is the most important conversation. Like when I talk about my faith, and having that faith, and taking that faith seriously, and looking back for years, and going, I was...I took it seriously, but I wasn't doing what a serious believer who took this thing serious that every day counted towards making a difference in somebody's life right? When you lose focus of that and then realizing that you've lost focus of that and getting it refocused, that's a heavy conversation. And I believe it was important for me to go through that because, you know, that...I wanna say I took it for granted. But, you know, taking the opportunity every day that you have, like there's always tomorrow to do this or that, and knowing that now, you know, I can't be thinking like that, putting stuff off and my relationship with God and taking that. That has to be the first thing I address every day when I wake up so that as I take all my day, you know, I've thought about that.

Like, everything that I do, how it's gonna impact that relationship with God. Is it gonna strengthen it? Is it gonna hinder it? Is it gonna be a distraction from that? So, that's my heaviness without realizing that there was times when I was just going, going, going, and I wasn't thinking about how it was going to affect my relationship with God. And to me, that relationship with God getting affected is gonna also affect my relationship with everybody. With my wife, with my friends, with you guys. Because it's not where it's supposed to be or where I feel God's called it to be if I'm not focusing on serving him from that place as a believer. So, that for me is a serious undertaking. It's not to be taken lightly at all. But with that, having that realization and getting focused, I do find enjoying that. It's like, okay, I have a clear vision of where I'm supposed to be focused and who I'm supposed to be serving and it's God. That is where, you know, the conversation about money and different things like, I don't want to leave that legacy of money, it's a legacy of who I impacted for, you know, for the kingdom or for being a Christian. And I can't do if I'm not focused on that every day.

Melina: Yeah. It's interesting. One of the things that most people don't understand about us is that we had a pastor showed at one of our intros a while back and having the conversation of. well, my business and my faith, that they actually go hand in hand. I actually live my faith out in my business. And the realization that I'm speaking to a pastor who could not like wrap his mind around that, how do you do you connect those two? Well, because right, business you're supposed to make money, you know, real estate you're supposed to make money, but the truth is like business ownership is all about people. Like, you know, we're in a world where people still are the most precious commodity that we have. And so I was having this conversation with him like, well, nothing changes, like it's not really that crazy that my business is my ministry. They're absolutely the same and I believe that that's, you know, one of the biggest problems inside of like American churches, honestly, is that there's this, you know, the church. Then there's business and like the idea that they can't come together or that you can't operate your business from a place of being a believer. You totally can.

And you can totally serve people. It's not just the obvious stuff like, oh, you know, make a good product, you know, make a good product and, you know, put it at the right price and resell it and have integrity. That's all important. But when you're in a service business like we are, it really is all about people, and real estate is absolutely a service business. Anybody who thinks it isn't is they don't understand the business then, because real estate is about people. It's about the people who live inside real estate.

Hey, guys, this conversation went a lot longer than we had anticipated. So, we broke it up into two separate podcasts. There's so much good raw information there and the conversation continues. So. listen to the next podcast for the rest of the story.

I'm Melina Boswell, your host of the Flippin’ Off Podcast. I really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we'd love for you to subscribe. Give us a five-star rating and tell your friends all about us. You can find more episodes of the Flippin’ Off Podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher or wherever else you like to listen to awesome podcast like this. If you like what you've heard, we'd really appreciate it if you'd follow us on Facebook and Instagram and tell us the stories that you'd like to hear. Tim Jackson is our senior producer, Luke Jackson is our editor. Josh Mauldin is our producer. Sound designed by Frequency Factory. Our executive producer is Mind & Mill. This was all created by Dave Boswell for New Wealth Advisors Club.